TEARS IN THE SHADOWS

He is with me this day... this hour... this minute... this second...

Each moment we spend together is captured in slow motion.

We find ourselves suspended in time in a place to be shared only with each other.

Perhaps it is I who selfishly demands that time linger on,

So that I can be with him for awhile longer.

Life was so good... and then it touched us...

So sudden... so horrifying... So bittersweet...

He is so very much loved... so sweet... so dear... so loving...

How can this be?

Relief comes only when I forget reality for a moment or two.

A place of solitude and comfort within me,

Where dreams, hopes and aspirations for us linger on,

No matter what...

But, my dreams are always short lived...

For I drift back into the realization that he will not be with me for much longer,

He will not see our children marry nor his grandchildren.

We will not grow old together as we had thought...

And so, tears in the shadows ebb and flow within me...

Hidden from his view as best as I can,

Echoes of a sadness such that I have never before experienced...

Feelings of despair, helplessness and pain at the thought of losing him,

Gather within me and settle...

In a place that I have not sought out but one that has revealed itself to me,

A place to collect my tears in the shadows of my heart for evermore. 02/05/05 -- Lenore